Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh�
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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