We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
