discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
