I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Randomize
