I wish I could teleport
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
