Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
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