next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
