i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I have tasted many bathrooms
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Randomize
