who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
