Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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