i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
