we're making bets on your personal life
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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