the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
