I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Sponge bath it is.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
