the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
