She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
