I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize
