My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
