Small penises have feelings too.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
