Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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