I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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