Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
well I can't set my house on fire every night
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize
