Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
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