is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
you have to choose: penises or morals?
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
