He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
