Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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