You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Randomize
