I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
