I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
