she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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