How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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