The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
