I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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