i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
