I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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