A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
