after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
