I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
