I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
