bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
