my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
