don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
