nut hugger
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
