she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
