Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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