CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
