yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
