whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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