His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
