So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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