i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
