the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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