i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
