am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
