hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
